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  1. #1
    Senior Member Mister Bump's Avatar
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    I took a Danish lady called Heather out for a drink last night and had high hopes as we seemed to be getting on well. However things took a turn for the worse quite quickly. I had only had 2 beers over the space of 2 hours but as we left one pub to go to another one my stomach decided to play up and I was violently sick into a bin. Heather had to get me a tissue to wipe my face. I felt like a total fool and unsurprisingly didn't get a snog.Anyone else quite as useless as me?

  2. #2
    Senior Member X Commie's Avatar
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    pmsl.

  3. #3
    Senior Member 4AssedMonkey's Avatar
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    I had an absolute horror date once.There was a girl at school who had a crush on me when we were 14-15ish. She was never anything to shout about and I was an adolescant prick so I never gave her time of day. When I was 20 I ran into an old school pal who was still in touch with her. We got chatting and she told me that Abigail was now a beauty therapist and part-time aerobics instructor. Even better, she still talked about me from time to time. I was single so agreed to take her out and my friend set it up.She looked pretty good and all went well, chatting about what we were up to and generally catching up over a few drinks. We seemed to be clicking. Then we went to a restaurant where I'd booked a table and ordered a bottle of wine. Things were still going OK, then I noticed that the red wine had almost gone so ordered another - didn't want to look like a cheapskate. This too disappeared quickly and I realised that Abi was drinking like a fish and was three-parts pissed.Half way through the main course she asked me why I 'hated' her at school. I made light of this, claiming that didn't hate her, never had but was childish and stupid back then. Then she started asking me if I fancied any of her school mates back then - not as one question but by literally listing every girl in our year and asking me what I thought of them. She got progressively drunker and louder and by the time we were ready for dessert menus she was bladdered, swearing a lot and quite aggressive. When I suggested that we pay the bill and go for a walk, she stood up, threw red wine at me and shouted That's just typical of you!" then slumped in the chair crying. I left 50 on the table and walked out.I got an embarassed call from her a few days later to apologise and ask if we could try again. I responded with a firm no and she freaked again calling me a self-centred twat and saying I was probably gay. Well out of that one."

  4. #4
    Senior Member Lur'bak's Avatar
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    have you got her number?

  5. #5
    Senior Member Mister Bump's Avatar
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    4AM you still got her number? She sounds like a lot of fun!

  6. #6
    Senior Member 4AssedMonkey's Avatar
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    Last I heard, she'd moved to Milton Keynes. Not because of me you understand.All men in MK be warned.

  7. #7
    Senior Member 4AssedMonkey's Avatar
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    HRP - don't think the Danish Girl thing is dead in the water BTW. Don't underestimate the amount of sympathy you can get from a bout of illness. If I were you, I'd get in touch full of apologies, claiming to have had a serious bout of stomach flu and beg for the chance to make it up to her. She'll think you're sweet"."

  8. #8
    Sorry all dating disasters are erazed standard procudure sorry, cause remembering them may effect future performance.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Lur'bak's Avatar
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    learn from your mistakes to prevent repetition of piss poor performance perhaps.lot of p's yhere.

  10. #10
    Hungry monkey 'now with custom graphics'
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    have you remembered any dates then dylan?

  11. #11
    Hungry monkey 'now with custom graphics'
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    ; )

  12. #12
    You can't be expected to learn from mistakes, that would require woman to have Logic and a Pattern, sadly that is not the case.I once heard a girl talking to her mates, tell about how some bloke chucked up over her, I thought thats him history, no she thought it was a good sign, go figure.You can't win, and when you do, don't question it, just go with it and be happy.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Ironlung 's Avatar
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    Given that I've been married for nearly thirteen years to my second date, I don't have any stories to tell....(end smug mode)

  14. #14
    Ask me about a sexy 25year old, rich and drives a Lexus in a few weeks Monkey, if I can't remember anything someone pls hit me for screwing that one up LOL

  15. #15
    IL, thats not Smug, not to me, definate bullet and brain material there mate.

  16. #16
    Don Cayetano
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    lol

  17. #17
    Senior Member Stephanos Wephanos's Avatar
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    Fantastic. No real disasters, only the waking up next morning and forgetting the girls name... When she went to powder her nose I checked her credit card, there was only an initial 'S', so I racked my brains and decided it was Sally, then just as she was leaving one of my old house mates asked me to introduce her... turned out she was really called Sarah...

  18. #18
    Senior Member Mister Bump's Avatar
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    4AM, I am in Milton Keynes.Its interesting how you use rich and Lexus driving to describe this woman Dylan rather than her physical features. Are you attracted to powerful women?

  19. #19
    Senior Member Stephanos Wephanos's Avatar
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    Dylans ideal date?

  20. #20
    Senior Member Mister Bump's Avatar
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    Powder her nose first thing in the morning? Was it Kate Moss?

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