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  1. #1
    Formerly Listed as Project (FLaP)
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    Probably been done before but made me laugh!>Finally, the guys' side of the story. > > > >We always hear the rules" >from the female side. >Now here are the rules from the male side. >These are our rules! >Please note... these are all numbered "1" >ON PURPOSE! > > >1. Learn to work the toilet seat. >You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. >We need it up, you need it down. >You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. > > >1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. >Let it be. > > >1. Shopping is NOT a sport. >And no, we are never going to think of it that way. > > >1. Crying is blackmail. > > > >1. Ask for what you want. >Let us be clear on this one: >Subtle hints do not work! >Strong hints do not work! >Obvious hints do not work! >Just say it! > > >1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. > > >1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what >we do. >Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. > > >1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. >See a doctor. > > >1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, >all comments become null and void after 7 days. > > >1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to >act like soap opera guys. > > >1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. >Don't ask us. > > >1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways >makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. > > >1. You can either ask us to do something >or tell us how you want it done. >Not both. >If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. > > >1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during >commercials. > > >1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. > > >1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. >Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. >We have no idea what mauve is. > > >1. If it itches, it will be scratched. >We do that. > > >1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's > >wrong. >We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. > > >1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you >don't want to hear. > > >1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is >fine...Really. > > >1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss > >such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. > > >1. You have enough clothes. > > >1. You have too many shoes. > > >1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. > > >1. Thank you for reading this. >Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men >really don't mind that? It's like camping."

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    amen

  3. #3
    Formerly Listed as Project (FLaP)
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    indeed - funnily enough though the present Mrs Project did not quite see the funny side.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Jul 2004
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    LolMust be nice to be so uncomplicated.: D

  5. #5
    Formerly Listed as Project (FLaP)
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    Hi Di - are you well - I don't need no complications in my life, I seem to make evn the most simple things complicated already!

  6. #6
    Senior Member
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    Not bad Flap - how you doing?: )

  7. #7
    DIRK (i have no axe 2) GRINDER
    Guest
    LOLmade the missus laugh. just hope she took notes.

  8. #8
    A couple of your listings are why I'm kipping on the couch, do'nt mind really got my Sky and this place to chear me up, downside - got to be at a xc race at 9.30 today, after a night on the couch my backs not going to be too straight, oh well, us and our rules eh!Good Night all.

  9. #9
    Ceefa
    Guest
    don't do rules myself, i just say you never know wht corner i shall turn, and when i catch you your out no question asked,, as your grow up we had rules when we where kids and at work god freedom at home!!!!! i say...

  10. #10
    Alun Hemington
    Guest
    It's amazing how unculturred folk are from west of the Loughor!

  11. #11
    Formerly Listed as Project (FLaP)
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    LOL @ Alun, although I imagine only a small % of the people on here will actually get that one - hey anyway I'm sure there are a few uncultured sorts in the Swansea area (Townhill/Mayhill!!!)How are you anyway Alun? I keep threatening to come back west for a bike ride, but time seems to be against me - I will come back over the border soon though as I need to ride my bike in some hills again. Have you tried the new Skyline at Afan Argoed yet? I would like to do that one soon.A

  12. #12
    Alun Hemington
    Guest
    V good project, i died on tyhe merida 100 the other week and i'm getting married saturday!! Then off to NYC bermuda . Bendigedig!

  13. #13
    Alun Hemington
    Guest
    Townhill - the hill of fear!I will however need to get my lardy arse back on the bike in august in preparation for the brecon beast enduro

  14. #14
    Formerly Listed as Project (FLaP)
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    All the best for the wedding mate, best day of your life and all that (so they tell me!!! the current Mrs Project has threatened me with marriage for next May - she has dropped all the hints about the time and date, and the location. Just needs me to ask her now!!!!!!First I need to get a job, then decide where we shall life (my preference is North Italy) hey-ho, I will have to get on with my thesis soon.Was the Merida 100 good (apart from your near death experience), I really have not ridden my bike much, have taken to a steel hardtail and trying to do some street around my campus (what a site that is, a 32 year old constantly falling off his bike!!!)Right back to some thesis work.

  15. #15
    Senior Member
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    mornin' project.

  16. #16
    Formerly Listed as Project (FLaP)
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    Mornin Ste - how are you this fine winters morning? Geez what happened to the summer? what you been up to? anything exciting?I have just learnt that a new girl is moving into my house, she is American and is very fit, oh how exciting. Now how do I tell the current Mrs Project!!!!!?

  17. #17
    Senior Member
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    Jul 2004
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    no.she'll only get all paranoid and start thinking you're sleeping with her and aeverything....... but on the other hand, if you don't tell her and she finds out, it could make things a lot worse....anywho, not much interestiung no, just got a lot of racing this week. an event every night.... i'm gonna be knackered.then i'm off for 2 weeks, one of which i will be spening in france, hopefully surfing and spending mucho time on the beach.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Numpty! 's Avatar
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    Tell her a loudmouthed septic is coming.

  19. #19
    Senior Member
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    septic, or sceptic?

  20. #20
    Formerly Listed as Project (FLaP)
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    Yeas you are right Ste - tell her and she starts to imagine all sorts of things, don't tell her and then she wants to know why!!!! Lose lose situation!numpty - don't think it would make any difference!!!! Ah well at leat she is not blonde - that would send the current Mrs P over the edge !!!

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