Homer Simpson:I want to share something with you - the three sentences that will get you through life. Number one, 'Cover for me.' Number two, 'Oh, good idea, boss.' Number three, 'It was like that when I got here.' To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to all of life's problems!
two for the office for all those people couped up with air con and artificial lightingto err is human, to really screw up takes a computer..andif all around you are losing their head, u dont understand the seriousness of the problem
For the office;80% done, boss""I'm waiting on <insert appropriate name here> to get back to me."For real life:"Mine's a pint."And my favourite from a pal asked if he fancied a road ride while f&M has closed the country?"Eh? What's up""are you a puff or something?"<no offense intended to XC Gay boy or anyone else of any persuasion at all>"
I wrote an application for mixing up proverbs inspired by a set of fridge magnets I saw. Sometimes they are profound sometimes surreal, here's a few...A drowning man is a fool for five minutes.He who has health, shall never be drowned. A woman is a successful man. A cat remains a fool forever. Fish and guests would not melt in her mouth. Butter is only a bench covered with velvet. Oh and for genuine inspiration I like...“In the depth of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer. --Albert Camus "
A bird on the hand means you're getting some bush.There's no such thing as a bad second bottle.Aluminium is lighter than steel in all cases.A Mars a day helps you get fat.Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow the price might go up.When you find a sign on your car which says Parking Fine", it's not a congratulation upon the standard of your driving.A wrong number is never engaged.Socrates"
Try everything in life once.............................................. .....with the possible exceptions of incest and folk dancing"That was by some famous bod. Easily translates to:"F#ck it...I'll do it" "