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Milton the Sausage
12-03-08, 10:29
They were over-ripe anyway.

Milton the Sausage
12-03-08, 10:29
I'm 33 years old and this amuses me, a lot.

Dirty Karlos
12-03-08, 10:32
I'm 34 and I'd have smashed your face in.

Milton the Sausage
12-03-08, 10:33
He's a good sport

Dan : /
12-03-08, 10:34
Oh I dunno DK, that is quite funny...

Mustrum Ridcully - Kicking Against The Pricks
12-03-08, 10:34
I'm 33 and it amusese me greatly too

BHB 10.6.6
12-03-08, 10:35
I'm 31 and would have rubbed shit under your car door handles

Dirty Karlos
12-03-08, 10:35
Dan : / wrote (see)Oh I dunno DK, that is quite funny...Oh yes, the comedic value is fantastic and I applaud Misty, I'd still at least have wrestled him to the ground though.

BobBullet
12-03-08, 10:36
I'm 63 and I find it funny.Although you should also leave some on the earpiece of his phone

mtbmatty
12-03-08, 13:03
im a chav an thought it was funny so it must beedited cos of fickery 

Mister Bump
12-03-08, 13:56
I am 32 and am nipping out to buy bananas to do the same to my colleagues.

TS1
12-03-08, 14:02
lol ,

BobBullet
12-03-08, 14:02
I'm 74 and can only eat bananas as I dont have my teeth anymore

Mustrum Ridcully - Kicking Against The Pricks
12-03-08, 14:09
P-ness wrote (see)I am 32 and am nipping out to buy bananas to do the same to my colleagues.

Dan(Ignored...what a shame)
12-03-08, 14:10
Im 23 and frankly found it rather childish.

Free Wheelin Franklin
12-03-08, 14:15
I find a large home made banner saying, "Im into man love" taped to the passsenger door is quite a good one.I work in a graphics studio where a large inkjet printer is available. I once drove round for 2 days with fake number plates taped to my car with "Luvs Cock" and "Suks Cock" done in black on yellow taped over the original number plates.

Mister Bump
12-03-08, 14:18
I am 103 and remember when you couldn't buy bananas in Britain.

tekk
12-03-08, 14:21
Did you pull FWF?

BobBullet
12-03-08, 14:25
I'm the lizard kingand I can do anything    (apart from peel bananas with with tiny lizard fingers)

Dirty Karlos
12-03-08, 14:27
*Sniffs marker pen*Mmmm...cheap merlot.... 

BobBullet
12-03-08, 14:29
*Sniffs marker pen*eerrgghh cheap 70's aftershaveWhat brand you got DK, This BIC one here is grim

Dirty Karlos
12-03-08, 14:32
Bob (As fast as a speeding) Bullet wrote (see)What brand you got DK, This BIC one here is grimQconnect

BobBullet
12-03-08, 14:34
"places new stationary order with a suspicious amount of marker pens included"

Mister Bump
12-03-08, 14:34
I have an Edding 300 marker which has a rather potent tang to it.

Mustrum Ridcully - Kicking Against The Pricks
12-03-08, 14:52
Eeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuwwwwwwwwww!!The Qconnect ones are VILE!!You need the Pentel N50-A for  the best sniffability

Dirty Karlos
12-03-08, 14:57
Pentels are the connoisseur's choice, agreed.

Mister Bump
12-03-08, 15:02
Do you have colours or just black ones?

Dirty Karlos
12-03-08, 15:05
Blue is best, more of a Shiraz nose to it I reckon.

Baron von Grinder(Wright whinger)
12-03-08, 15:06
RACIST!!!

Baron von Grinder(Wright whinger)
12-03-08, 15:08
Im on the look out for agood wind up for some one at work.Preferably one that will make then jump and idealy soil them selves.Any ideas?

BHB 10.6.6
12-03-08, 15:11
Shoot yourself in the face

Dirty Karlos
12-03-08, 15:14
lol

Baron von Grinder(Wright whinger)
12-03-08, 15:14
I dont own a gun.

Dirty Karlos
12-03-08, 15:15
I left a plastic 'pull-back' powered spider under some tart's papers, when she lifted them up it shot across the desk. She shat, I laughed heartily.

Mustrum Ridcully - Kicking Against The Pricks
12-03-08, 15:15
Get Fat Cath to walk in naked?

BobBullet
12-03-08, 15:16
Arrest him and keep him locked up for days without charge...

Baron von Grinder(Wright whinger)
12-03-08, 15:17
How do you know Catherine?What a coinsidence!!!

BHB 10.6.6
12-03-08, 15:26
A good one is the old, dried scorpion...Take some stiff card, an elastic band and a strip of wood, Fashion the card such that you can wind the elastic around the wood to make a rattle (like those old balsa plane propellors) fold the Card and add a series of increasingly alarming warnings...do not touch stinger venom may still kill, this scoprion has enough venom in it's stinnger to kill 40 cows, you will fucking die if you even open this fucking thing etc etc. On the fron you can have something like Genuine dried scorpiion caught in the gobi desert, Fragile.works a treat 

Mister Bump
12-03-08, 15:34
An ex of mine did that to me, I shat myself

Baron von Grinder(Wright whinger)
12-03-08, 15:39
Mmmm!Sounds like a plan.Its a fellow Babylon so I would need to remain annonymous just incase the bomb squad or white powder brigade get called out to a dodgy package!

BHB 10.6.6
12-03-08, 15:50
PMSL Forensics come on down suited and booted and you have to watch, sweating to stifle the laughter as you watch DC Boffin unwrap the thing and shit his dust suit!

BobBullet
12-03-08, 16:06
If you can get enough people and his car is not too massive...A chap I worked with had a Fiesta, We managed to get enough chaps to bounce the thing around 90 degress so it was wedged inbetween two walls in the loading bay, oh how we laughed as he tried to figure out how we did it....And laughed even more watching him try to get help to bounce it back.

Milton the Sausage
12-03-08, 17:29
The prank went down well and there was much mirth

Sadbloke, missing for a while
12-03-08, 18:03
Baron, ring your collegue up pretending youre a telephone engineer ask him/her, to do various silly things down thwe phone , like wispering very quietly, and then shouting, ask them to pick up the phone and hold it above their head, and then to stand on the table , or to sit on a swivel chair and spin round and round, or ask them if they can trace the cable back to the junction box and unclip it and plug it into another socket, finally get them to bang the reciever hard on the desk, and for the finalle get them to cut the wire,All the above ive done and its hysterical if done in an office surrounded by people, and you can see the expressions and they cant see you.Get a small plastic crocodile and place in toilet bowl, day before start a conversation about crocodiles in the sewers, and what a shock it would be haveing a dump , when a little blighter, jumps up and bites your arse,or worse, next day do the above, but put the seat down and if possible reduce the lighting, take the bulb out or something and listen for the screams.Hilarious , but only tends to work once.

Dong.
12-03-08, 18:08
Anyone done of of those prank phone calls? Where someone rings your mate whatever and shouts abuse etc like you got my daughter pregnant,your wifes got aids etc... you can listen in for a laugh to..

Sadbloke, missing for a while
12-03-08, 18:10
Another good one is unscrew the hinges of a door, and palace back in frame, best done on an empty room, as a door falling on you may cause serious injury,wedge it back into frame with some cardboard, ask your collegue to open the door as its stiff, (works good for meat heads), and get them to shoulder charge it.

Vegemite
12-03-08, 18:43
I've unplugged my colleagues mouse USB plug from his PC everyday for the last 7 days.  He is yet to figure how everyday it manages to come loose and fall out!Two other colleagues have their desks next to each other and their phones sit close together.  Tomorrow I will start swapping the handsets onto the opposite reciever to pi55 them off further. 

Falloffalot
12-03-08, 18:43
Stretch clingfilm over the toilet bowl and put the seat and lid back down, works better in the gents as they don't always look before having a crap. Not advisable with the person you sit next to as the results can get a bit smelly..

Sadbloke, missing for a while
12-03-08, 20:31
when i was doing my appreniceship, the chap on the opposite bench as me and the labourer walked past we would pick up a tool and move it somewhere else in the worksop, in the end he was onvinced he was going mad as he couldnt remember going to the places his tools where going.try unplugging the handset cable from the phone and putting it underneath so it looks plugged in, then when the phone rings, they pick it up, and cant hear anything, or be heard.In an office block,put something bigger than 4 inches between the lift doors on a higher or lower floor, no matter how much they press the call button the lift want come, better on slightly less fit people and hot days.False fire alarms , just squirt some deodarant , nothing to smelly in to the smoke detector head, the one with mesh on, is for smoke.Put a couple of onions on the exhaust manifold of their car, nice smell, or even garlic, if theyre a devil.A couple of squirts of washing up liquid in the kettle, leave the room or stand well back.Should all make an interesting thursday/friday.

mtbmatty
12-03-08, 23:38
pentals are the pens of choice for daubmasters an vandals alike

Demonix
13-03-08, 08:27
Seafood based shenanigans...> Kipper fillets behind car radiator... odour will never go and a handful of pinetree  air fresheners won't cover smell in car..Prawns in hollow curtain poles..

BobBullet
13-03-08, 08:53
Or if he uses a PC, and ideally cant type very well.Remove lots of the keys and then replace them swapping their position, if he is a typist who has to look at the keys it works.

Surly
13-03-08, 08:59
Glad you've all got the time to play childish pranks - get some work done yer work shy lot

BHB 10.6.6
13-03-08, 09:50
Bob or in keyboard preferences just chane keyboard ayout to Dvorak