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Four Assed Monkey
09-08-01, 12:00
I was on appointments from work this morning and had a spare 20 minutes so I dropped into a bike shop. At the counter was a fat spotty kid (about 13-14) with his dad who was forking out over 2,500.00 for a fully tricked out Patriot for the kid. He asked the kid what else he needed and the brat promptly asked for knee/shin guards, a Manitou downhill jersey and a new pair of Vans and got them. Then dad says: 'what about a helmet' 'I don't wear a helmet''well if your going to ride this one off road, you'll need one''I never wear one on my Specialized FSR''yes, but you only ride to your friends house on that'etc...In the end the kid got away without a helmet and then kicked up a massive fuss when dad refused to pay another 14.00 for an X-lite top cap on the headset!!!! I thought this couldn't get any worse when:Shop assistant: 'are going to do some downhilling then?'kid: 'might do a bit, where do you suggest'SA: 'Wharnecliffe is pretty good and Dore Moor has some decent trails'kid: 'Don't you get muddy? besides I was going to ride down the hills in the park with my mates'.I nearly cried.

More Gears Than Sense
09-08-01, 12:03
Thats about right fella, but look at it this way, do you really want people like that on the trials?? ;-)

steve makin
09-08-01, 12:10
Do you mean to say that you didn't follow him and nick the bike ? jeez our local rag has stories like this in it every week, I always assumed this was what was happening !, Spoilt Brat or Stupid Dad ?

Alistair Freeman
09-08-01, 12:18
Still, think of it this way: spoilt kid buying bike = more money for lbs = stays open.Oh, and also means a secondhand bargain for someone in 6 months when he gets bored with it after having done about 10 miles before his fat legs give out.Mind you, I think I'd have needed to be physically restrained from crank-whipping him.

Matthew White
09-08-01, 12:19
So that was you standing behind me and my boy this morning, was it? I wondered why you were looking a bit sick.His mother and I think it is right that we should give him the best equipment. It is just soooooo important for kids at that age to have more stuff than their friends. Should I have bought him the top cap as well?And of course it's important that he doesn't get the bike muddy. Otherwise it would leave marks on the axminister in the living room, where he keeps it.And Crispin is NOT fat and spotty. He just has a slight glandular problem.

Jon Hall
09-08-01, 12:20
I'm sitting here wondering whether to fork out 1800 on a Sub 5 and you tell me this!Now I've got to buy the flipping thing, or some fat spotty kid will have a WAY better bike than me.13 years old... any time now he'll grow half a foot taller in the space of six months, and the thing will sit rusting in the shed.

Duder is waiting for his fox jersey to arrive
09-08-01, 12:24
yeah i hate that kind of person they suckstill im going out on my new patriot / vans / jesrey and padsdad got them for me this morningall lies really - i ve paid for my own parts for 3 years now

Duder is waiting for his fox jersey to arrive
09-08-01, 12:25
they obviusly got a large because he can grow into it.also they only got it because of the colour

Four Assed Monkey
09-08-01, 12:27
Jon, Ditto. I too am pondering buying a Sub 5 and there was an SE that was my size with Hope mini's etc. in the shop this morning for about 1,900.00. Very tempted now that Billy Bunter has a f***ing Patriot!

Jools .
09-08-01, 12:40
I think its great that some little nob end will be riding with no helmet, lets hope the little bugger tries something silly and leaves the gene pool.Although the parents probably need shooting as well.That was a bit harshbut fair

Chris McSweeny
09-08-01, 12:51
I didn't realize Patriots rusted. Must be strange aluminium they make them out of.

Jon Hall
09-08-01, 12:59
In the hands of a disinterested 13 year old fat kid, anything's possible. The bike will probably commit aluminium oxide hari-kari just to avoid being pinned down under his fat backside.

Mike Davis
09-08-01, 13:01
Bet it's back in the shop in a fortnight with a sheared-off vital component after riding off a warehouse roof and Dad going,He was just riding along, he's never jumped it or anything"Mike."

Jon Hall
09-08-01, 13:02
Doesn't sound like he'll be riding off kerbstones, let alone rooves.

Duder is waiting for his fox jersey to arrive
09-08-01, 13:04
his dad must have got the shop to fit a kick stand (so it doesnt get scratched being left on the floor) full mudguards (so little butt boy doesn't get dirty) a rack for his paper roundand a little tool kit frame bag thing

Jools .
09-08-01, 13:06
You never know the Kid might be a full on nutter who has convinced daddy he isn't.

Dan aka Zap Branigan
09-08-01, 13:11
his feckin dad sounds like a nutter, i value money, i know how much 2.5k is, my son ( assuming one day i procreate ) asks me for 2.5k bike who aint serious about DH or XC whatever can fuck offDan

Duder is waiting for his fox jersey to arrive
09-08-01, 13:18
with an nick name of zap dont count on it soon

Phatboy da Silva
09-08-01, 13:21
Jesus, i nearly wet myself (over the cash, not literally of course, that'll make it all soggy) when i got my well loved" Scott Octane for 550 off a mate. It's legacy will live on in my bank account for some time, but at least i'll really enjoy it and appreciate it, something money can't buy.Then again though, who are we to stop some kid spending his dads money? If my parents were loaded and offered to shell out 2.5K on a bike I wouldn't say no, would you?!"

Tony Wade
09-08-01, 13:23
Do you think that kids dad is up for adopting for any more sons?If so me first.

Grown-back-nicely-now Da Silva
09-08-01, 13:27
Wookie (1), slightly soggy (your fault phatboy), in need of wealthy parents to buy bike bits, feed, provide hay to bed in, to photograph arse. Must enjoy pube in teeth feeling. all offers considered, unless Irish, had enough of that now.

Revilo @{@
09-08-01, 13:37
Maybe the kid is terminally ill or something?

Jools .
09-08-01, 13:40
Is the wookie on the pull or am I reading it wrong.

Phatboy da Silva
09-08-01, 13:41
She better not be.

brant@ on-one.co.uk
09-08-01, 13:42
2500 - you can get a car for that

Revilo @{@
09-08-01, 13:43
maybe the dad thought when the shop owner said thats 2 and an arf mister" he meant 250 quid? Stranger things have happened."

Phatboy da Silva
09-08-01, 13:43
2.5K and no mud gaurds or bell. Tsk tsk

Rob Sutherland
09-08-01, 13:44
He he, that would teach him not to check the credit card slip!!!!

Revilo @{@
09-08-01, 13:45
Just got a dr's surgery call, didn't have the heart to go through with it though.

Four Assed Monkey
09-08-01, 13:47
Rev,Now you mention it, the kid did look il...no sorry he looked like a pudgy, spoilt, overfed, manky faced, Ali G tracksuit wearing, backwards baseball capped tossbag and his father was a wet obsequeous excuse for a human being who probably panders to his every whim with his fucking gold card!BASTARDS!<looks round for aspirin>

Jon Hall
09-08-01, 13:52
Now that he's got his 2500 bike paid for with Daddy's bonus from the City, he'll go and stick on Limp Bizkit and listen to Record Company Vice President Fred Durzt shouting about bringing down the system.

Ashley Wright
09-08-01, 14:04
Find out hwere the kid lives, as he will most likley sell it to yoou next week to for 100 cash so he can get the latest game for his playstation 2. After all it is the holidays and Daddy can't be around all the time!!

Ashley Wright
09-08-01, 14:04
Find out hwere the kid lives, as he will most likley sell it to yoou next week to for 100 cash so he can get the latest game for his playstation 2. After all it is the holidays and Daddy can't be around all the time!!

Revilo @{@
09-08-01, 14:13
Hey we could find out hwere the kid lives, as he will most likley sell it to yoou next week to for 100 cash so he can get the latest game for his playstation 2. After all it is the holidays and Daddy can't be around all the time!!

Revilo @{@
09-08-01, 14:13
bugger, Ashley said that already already.

Four Assed Monkey
09-08-01, 14:48
Twice.

Fred Bear
09-08-01, 15:07
Excuse my ignorance, but I don't quite understand the point that everyone is making. Let me see if I'm with it so far....Fat kid gets a bike.It's expensive.His Dad has obviously got a good job or lots of money or both.At this point, I lose it a bit because I can't understand why everyone is so stressed about it.Please, someone explain.....Grrr Doh.

Revilo @{@
09-08-01, 15:08
It's something to talk about Fred. You seem to be questioning the very fabric of the forum there.

Fred Bear
09-08-01, 15:10
No, just asking what the big problem was about a kid getting an expensive bike?A simple question, requiring a simple answer and not even a mention of fabric...velour, cotton or otherwise.

Revilo @{@
09-08-01, 15:11
is velour a fabric or a material?

Fred Bear
09-08-01, 15:13
the two terms are interchangeable I believe

Revilo @{@
09-08-01, 15:14
I'm not so sure, lets see....

Fred Bear
09-08-01, 15:17
I believe they are....'material that resembles cloth' is the definition of fabric.So going back to the original question I asked, I take it there is no answer.

Revilo @{@
09-08-01, 15:18
No not convinced.

Jools .
09-08-01, 15:18
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgrhI'm so f***kin bored.

Revilo @{@
09-08-01, 15:18
The answer to the original question is probably if you don't like it don't read it. I don't give a monkeys either way

Revilo @{@
09-08-01, 15:19
Jools, give it a couple of days for Daniel to find you and you'll be too busy running for your life to be bored.

Jools .
09-08-01, 15:22
I doubt he could find his arse with both hands.

Grown-back-nicely-now Da Silva
09-08-01, 15:22
It boils down to people getting given things that we have to scrimp and save for, who wont even appreciate the damn thing.It happens all the time with different stuff. It's just life, but we can still moan about it.

Jools .
09-08-01, 15:24
Personally I find it annoying that a clueless little buttmunch should have a 2.5k bike bought for him.I hope he rides it into a tree.

Revilo @{@
09-08-01, 15:25
look on the bright side.It WILL be nicked. There is no possibility it won't be.

Fred Bear
09-08-01, 15:27
Buttmunch - what a great word. I love it.

Jools .
09-08-01, 15:28
We owe a debt to Beavis and Butthead that cannot be repaid, Never in the field of massive insults etc.

Four Assed Monkey
09-08-01, 16:06
Fred, does it not piss you off that a bike that you would adore and sleep with if possible will be ridden by a fat little fucker (mostly on the street) and then probably left in a shed in a years time without ever being used for it's intended purpose?Gets my back up proper it does - there is no natural justice and the world is a fucked up place.

Fred Bear
09-08-01, 16:32
Four Assed (Top name) to be honest, it doesn't. After all, it's only a bike. Harsh words I know, but if Dad has enough money to buy it, what odds does it make. It doesn't affect my life, if I wanted one bad enough I would get one, and if the kid wrecks it/loses it/etc, who cares?Obviously, I don't mean this in any derrogatory way, some people on the forum do, however, my personal opinion is that I couldn't give a toss. No more lets say than an 18 year old with a rich daddy being bought a ferrari F50 and wrecking it.Also, whilst I agree with you tht the world is a fucked up place, I think there are possibly more important issues to make reference to than a fat kid getting a bike - after all, 18 people have just been killed in Palestine because of where they live....that's pretty fucked up.I don't mean to be confrontational Four Assed, but it's just the way I see it.

Ian Boydon
09-08-01, 17:49
Have to go with Fred on this one.

Four Assed Monkey
09-08-01, 17:53
In the grand scheme of things - I agree, it's not a big deal but me (and loads of other people) would love to have such a bike and would ride it to within an inch of it's life as is supposed to happen. It just don't seem fair sometimes.

Tom Lovelock
09-08-01, 19:07
I just hope the little kid gets ran down by his dads jag when hes wobbling down a mainroad and his dad passes his son like he does evey other cyclist.Go dig for the irony in that!

Revilo @{@
09-08-01, 19:11
Fred,You saidAlso, whilst I agree with you tht the world is a fucked up place, I think there are possibly more important issues to make reference to than a fat kid getting a bike - after all, 18 people have just been killed in Palestine because of where they live....that's pretty fucked up."Isn't that why we're all here though? to get a diversion from the madness in the rest of the world?Its a bit iffy to bring that into the forum, I mean we could derail every thread with that kind of comment and make everybody feel bad for no good reason."

Ian Boydon
09-08-01, 19:42
I`m with revilo on this one!

Dan (waiting for his pink Gimp to arrive)
09-08-01, 19:53
go one ian, lick his arse for all your worthDan

Jon Hanford
09-08-01, 21:40
Dan, you are the fat kid with the new 2500 bike and I claim my reward.Does it mean you won't be using your computer as much... Please!Everyone, bikes aren't handed out according to how much you wan't one, or how good you are at riding, get used to it, or get rich.

Jon Hall
09-08-01, 23:57
Fat kid can stick his Patriot up his arse now I've ordered my Sub5. Next.

Andy Deighton
10-08-01, 08:17
Monkey,Your posting reveals personality flaws in your self - why so jealous of a kid getting a bike? Does this families wealth make you feel inferior? Isn't this an illustration of the fact that an expensive bike doesn't make a better rider? Reading this forum has led me to believe that there are alot of overgrown kids out there spouting off about 'my bikes better than yours'..etc..Or are you all cynical bike shop owners trying to flog overpriced gear to mugs.

Dylan Lang
10-08-01, 08:33
Ah, good old envy...Just be happy that there are so many people like this who buy expensive bikes which in turn makes yours cheaper...

Jennifer O'Connor
10-08-01, 09:04
In theory. When was the last time prices for top shelf kit took a dive in your local bike shop?

Jon Hall
10-08-01, 09:09
The industry probably ends up thinking hey, we can shift top-of-the-range bikes to fat kids. They must be WAY too cheap""

Dylan Lang
10-08-01, 09:17
:)I didn't mean fat kids buying posh bikes will mean that prices will go down, more that the profit from 'Fat Kid with Rich Dad''s bike means that the shop doesn't have to get that profit on everything else it sells. Bike shops don't make lots of money so the sales of bikes that are way above the needs of the buyer are important.If the only people who bought bikes over a couple of hundred quid were people who actually used them for MTBing / road riding/racing, all our bikes would cost loads more.

Four Assed Monkey
10-08-01, 09:27
Ian - way to get an opinion (oh look.. the breeze has changed direction)Jon hall - nice one!Andy D - yes, I'm a jealous envious bitter little primate with issues. (it seems like a waste).

Fred Bear
10-08-01, 09:55
Revilo. The forum is about sharing opinions and viewpoints is it not? Another forum member was sharing his viewpoint with me and I was sharing mine with him. The point being that many forum posters were banging on about a kid with a new bike etc etc and someone said (as they are completely entitled to do so) that there was no justice in the world and that it seemed to be a fucked up place. My point, being that a kid with a rich dad and an expensive new bike really wasn't worth getting stressed about - an opinion I am entirely at liberty to share with other members of the forum - just as you are yours. I do not agree that the purpose of the forum is to escape the issues of everyday life - after all, we were discussing everyday life - I merely put a different perspective on it. I am sure that should you wish to take of your 'diametrically opposed to anything Fred Bear posts' hat, you would appreciate the perspective that I was presenting...after all, you seem like a pretty intelligent and mentally dextrous chap. Unfortunately, you seem to be using that natural gift to confron every posting I make - but hey...there are more important things to get wound up about...aren't there? After all, there were 7 children killed in that bomb yesterday.

Revilo @{@
10-08-01, 10:00
Fred, I will have to take my diametric opposition hat off to agree with you when you same I'm intelligent, granted.Seriously though, I do agree, as I am sure you weren't trying to make everyone feel like a bunch of selfish busturds.And on a related point. Religion, what all that about then?

Fred Bear
10-08-01, 10:03
Aaah, at last we agree on several points, not just one.Religion....now that is fucked up.Nuff said on that one...I like my legs in tact!

brant@ on-one.co.uk
10-08-01, 10:07
Religion? Best exercise in brand building ever. The bible is my marketing, er, bible.Praise the lord. I'm off to the shop to buy some coffee

Notoriously Bad Typist
10-08-01, 10:08
Superb brand building, and the coatholic church is possibly the best example anywhere of a flat management structure - 5 levels between Pope and punter.I'm off to the pub to buy some beer

Fred Bear
10-08-01, 10:10
Beer - Yum.

Dave Carlson
10-08-01, 10:11
Coat-holic? Good sales pitch as well. Believe in us now/(Give us your money) and you'll get your reward when you're dead"Kinda like life insurance really. "

Revilo @{@
10-08-01, 10:12
NBT does that mean catholics have to gothrough 6 tiers of management before they get to speak to the big guy?

Andy Deighton
10-08-01, 10:15
Try yo see cycling as a journey towards possible enlightenment. Burdening yourself with worries about fat kids on overpriced bikes won't help you with your quest. How will this spoilt kid ever know the value of anything? When I read the initial post I felt pity for the kid, and I mean that. Even his obesity is the result of over-consumption. Perhaps his dad was trying to get him interested in physical activity by buying him a bike.Anyway when your parents handed you a bowl of soup, some kids didn't/don't have that - but we forgot, because relatively speaking we are spoilt brats ourselves.Except me, I lived in a septic tank, got up at 3am..etc

Adam Stephens
10-08-01, 10:17
Dave - There's a difference between Life Insurance & Religion.With religion you get the reward when you die.With life insurance someone else gets the rewards when you die.;-)

Dave Carlson
10-08-01, 10:17
Septic tank? You lucky b@stard...

Alistair Freeman
10-08-01, 10:23
I think if we were to seriously consider our journey towards enlightenment we'd not be spending all our cash on flashy bikes, we'd be giving it away and spending our time meditating etc., wouldn't we?

Notoriously Bad Typist
10-08-01, 10:28
Rev - have you ever tried to speak to someone more than one mangement layer above you? In theory it's possible but I've never seen it happen, although I've seen commandments come down from on high on many occasions :o)

Jools .
10-08-01, 10:30
Chickens, evolution is a cruel mistress to make something so meal shaped.This is a far better example of the state of the world than fat kid on a nice bike.

Stuart Nicolson
10-08-01, 10:32
Ah religion, the finest scam ever invented.Big promises but you'll not know if they are kept until it's too late, fairly low costs, threat of big consequences if you don't sign up and a loop where doubt leads back to faith.Believe in us and you will be saved (probably). Don't believe in us and after you die you will be consumed in a fiery hell, assuming you don't believe that the worms will consume you and it's all nutrient cycling anyway.Doubt us and we will claim this makes your faith stronger, never demand proof that god exists or is great as with proof there is no place for faith and what is religion without faith? What is faith but the place we go when reason fails us?

Revilo @{@
10-08-01, 10:33
I particularly like the religions that I am not involved in that tell me that I will burn in hell because I am not involved in them, Thererrrrrrrrrrrrr great!

Notoriously Bad Typist
10-08-01, 10:37
>what is religion without faithOh bugger says God, I hadn't thought of that and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.For an encore Man goes on to prove that Black is actually White and gets mown down on the next Zebra crossing.Truly class, Douglas Adamas FTWIP*{*FWTIP - Feed The Worms In Peace}

Jools .
10-08-01, 10:40
What is faith anyway, I prefer hope at least it's CNC'd.

Fred Bear
10-08-01, 10:45
Aaah. Now let us pray.Dear God, I pray that you will stop all the killing and volcanic lava from from wiping out towns and earthquakes from killing people and bad things happening.Mind you, isn't that what people have been praying for, for the last couple of thousand years?And, errm, call me an old cynic, but haven't these things continued to happen with concerning regularity through out history?Hey ho...if I was religious, I'd have to go and say a prayer!

Jools .
10-08-01, 10:46
Religon is pants.There I've said it.

Fred Bear
10-08-01, 10:52
God bless you Jools and may He never drops His clogs on your head.

Jon Hall
10-08-01, 10:52
From fat kids to the meaning of life. I'm impressed.

Adam Stephens
10-08-01, 10:54
Yep, good aren't they?

David Brown
10-08-01, 11:36
So this is the Friday thread then ?

Notoriously Bad Typist
10-08-01, 11:38
No Dave, this was the Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday thread. The Friday threads are purpose built trolls", "Start spreading the news" and "Bike colour""

David Brown
10-08-01, 11:40
Ah, I see...I hate spoilt brats as well..there I've said it...They come past my place on their tricked out, v.expensive bikes that have never seen mud...just kinda pisses me off that I have to work hard to afford my bike and they just ask Daddy...

David Brown
10-08-01, 11:41
rule number 1:always remember to disable e-mail notification when the thread is growing this quickly....

brant@ on-one.co.uk
10-08-01, 12:11
you're telling me... i pop out for some coffee, get way-laid into going to Matalan, forget to bring wallet (nice move), get coffee, come home, have noodles for dinner (from Wing Yip - very nice) and check my inbox. lordy.

Four Assed Monkey
10-08-01, 12:27
Nothing wrong with religion or faith or a belief system, it's organised religion that I hate. Extremist Talibans who think everything is unholy or American Evangelists who suck all they can out of those who can ill afford it then fly home in a private jet whilst banging a mistress. Bunch of Arse!

Grey Ham Back Hour
10-08-01, 12:29
I'm a frisbeterianwhen you die your soul goes on a high roof and only comes back when it's really windy.

Grahame Baker
10-08-01, 12:50
I've delegated religion.My little brother's in the trade" so I get a discount on praying, etc."

Grahame Baker
10-08-01, 12:51
Dalmatians (again)

Andy Deighton
10-08-01, 13:02
waste is all around us, our profligate and improvident use of the earths resources to build cycle frames for spotty teenagers can't go on. Find out where he lives and tax his bike from him.

Four Assed Monkey
10-08-01, 13:11
Dalmatians?????@@@@!!!!Finally lost it eh Grahame?OK if thats your gameBUDGERIGAR.

Grahame Baker
10-08-01, 13:18
It was a reference to 101" Four Assed."

Grahame Baker
10-08-01, 13:18
Oh, by the way.Alligator

Terry the Troll
10-08-01, 13:20
Terrapins.

Notoriously Bad Typist
10-08-01, 13:22
Duck-Bulled Platypii

Notoriously Bad Typist
10-08-01, 13:23
Duck-Billed Platypii

Notoriously Bad Typist
10-08-01, 13:23
two for the price of one. bargain.

Jennifer O'Connor
10-08-01, 13:46
This thread it getting badly twisted. Soon it will be string.Sure, the fat brat will probably tire of MTBing in 5 minutes, but maybe he won't. Maybe he will be converted to the worship of the MTB God and learn to love MTBing with such intense fanaticism that he will grow up to spend most his working life on the internet, wasting company time on inane chatter in pointless bike forums :-).Point is, isn't getting any kid on a bike a good thing? (provided it's not my bike). All power to the great harvest of souls.

Four Assed Monkey
10-08-01, 13:51
Salmon.

Fred Bear
10-08-01, 13:56
BEARS

Four Assed Monkey
10-08-01, 14:21
Can you be more specific?

Stuart Nicolson
10-08-01, 14:43
Goats

Grey Ham Back Hour
10-08-01, 14:45
Where?

Stuart Nicolson
10-08-01, 14:47
Beside you...

Grey Ham Back Hour
10-08-01, 14:48
That's not a goat, that's me.

Stuart Nicolson
10-08-01, 14:49
You are a goat.Well, you look like a goat but goats can't type very well. Hmmm....

Grey Ham Back Hour
10-08-01, 14:50
Actually I'm a mighty morphing power ranger, I took the shape of a goat to seduce Doctor White but he seems to have lost interest and gone away. Shame, he had a damned fine pair of ears...

Four Assed Monkey
10-08-01, 14:51
Hippopotamus.

Stuart Nicolson
10-08-01, 14:52
Is it Friday or have I fallen asleep at the desk? I'm dreaming this I hope. Either that or I'm conversing with a goat that claims it's a power ranger.Nurse!